Cumberbatch in a Caleidoscope

by Zaiceka Ahmed

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I ran out of LSD, so headed for the theatre last night to catch Cumbercake in Caleidoscope, aka, Doctor Strange, once again. The trippy first seven minutes pretty much made up for it but I stuck around, you know… because it was a Benedict Cumberbatch (is this how you spell it?) starrer and even more because Hannibal jumped and leaped from every angle of the shifting vortex of a screen to escape the ancient one – promising several more scenes with the hunk of a villain in it. Seriously, I didn’t know who to root for in the fight scenes.

This is not a movie review, you all have your own opinions because I doubt there is anyone left who is yet to watch the flick and is still reading the millionth take of a film critic on it to decide if it’s worth a watch.

Get off your ass and run to the nearest cinema, if so, cuz it’s not gonna stick around forever!

Back to the trippy part – was it part of all the high funda graphic illusion to make a character of Tibetan descent look and sound like an English woman? No, no… that was deliberate. Why though? Perhaps every white superhero (the only kind in Marvel Universe) responds better to a white teacher. Good for them. The White Witch (from Narnia!) was the best part of the movie after all, somewhat like an Aslan to the realm inhabited by Doctor Strange. I hope she comes back to life too like Aslan in a sequel.

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The Ancient One as depicted in the comics

Shouldn’t there have been a more stringent entrance test to enrol into kamar-taj? Heck the kids back here give up on their lives trying to crack CAT to get into a mediocre business school! And here we have Sherlock playing an arrogant cold d*** – a role that I couldn’t help thinking was a poor reenactment of Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark – gaining entry into an establishment that can turn men into mighty sorcerers by simply waiting outside its door for five hours. Even Harry Porter had to be a born of parents gifted with magical powers to get that letter from Hogwarts!

Christine Palmer. Just another role model after Harley Quinn to make naïve teenage girls think its ok to be madly in love with someone who disrespects them.

At one point I was convinced Mordo would switch to the dark side.

Dormammu was a real bad mamu who gave his handsome apprentice, and his apprentice’s apprentices, a cool purple eye makeup the tutorial to which you are sure to find on instagram over which you will waste your data package because you can never really recreate that look. It doesn’t sit quite well that a force so invincible was beaten to extinction by the caped Cumberbatch’s (is that how you spell it?) next generation Apple watch.

I love the way these guys skipped the expense of Visa applications with those disc things on the wall and the phuljhari-circles.

Give Frodo back his magic ring!

Superman wears a red cape because he is a superhero. In Doctor Strange, the red cape wears Doctor Strange because the red cape is a superhero.

French braids are back in fashion.

Tilda Swinton is awesome. Hannibal Kaecelius is awesome. Cumberbatch (I think this is how you spell it) please decide if you are Dr. House or Tony Stark.

P.S.- This is really important, the youth of hot blood – using a phone and driving WILL NOT make you a superhero!

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